M-A-P-P-I-N-G the h. e. a. r. t.
“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience." -Elizabeth Gilbert
When I was a little girl, my mom used to get Triptiks from AAA. Before every skating competition, we would go to the mall and she would sit with a person who brought out a map and highlighted it for her.
And, then we would go.
<Incidentally, her driving did not improve but I digress...>
She had a plan. She had an end. She *knew* her way home.
Map. Direction. Security.
Yesterday, beloved asked me to make a map of *my* intimacy for him.
I told him to tell me where to go. (Shit)
And, that's the rub.
We require direction in so many parts of our lives but seldom travel the roads to know the way. We mistake recklessness for wanderlust and call Fear:
If there is one thing I know it's this: Moving is NOT the same thing as *knowing*. And, the only way to know is to explore. Get lost. Nest. In you.
And, sometimes the best going is: S-T-A-Y-I-N-G in it.
written August 26th, 2015